[10.17.2009] Forget PLACES...PEOPLE are far more interesting

Now tired of my "Places of Note" section (a touristy endeavor anyways) I have decided to create a one time list of "People of Note". The following are all real people, real sightings and humorous but hardly hyperbolic descriptions. Some may be uniquely australian, some may not. They are all awesome. Shall we?

1) Gandalf from Lord of the Rings: He had the eyebrows, the long white hair and beard and generally Ian McClellan features. I saw this man sitting in a Mcdonalds at 4 am, sporting semi Wizardly attire with a decidedly hobo-esque tinge actually stealing fries from the tray of a very irate 20 something. Accio fry.

2) Sudoku Bum: This homeless guy was making some serious headway on a Sudoku at 10pm on a Friday night. Impressive.

3) Rugby Bankers: I was walking downtown last week around 5 pm and passed a group of about 10 tall investment banker types in suites, ages from maybe 29-55. Typical scene. Except they were throwing punting and chasing a rugby ball like 9 year olds. Did Obama ever consider that rugby may have been the source of the financial crisis?

4) Liev Schrieber from "Taking Woodstock": This guy/gal was wearing the same pink dress, had the same long blondish hair and the same 265 pound frame. His/her calves belonged on Brock Lesnar, not tapering into high heels. If you don't get the references a quick google search should tell you more than you need to know.

5) Brandon Murry: I swear to god he's here. I saw him, I know it.

6) Disco Drunk Irishmen: Holding a box, yes box, of wine above one's head with one hand while adopting this pose...

...and dancing is the best way to drink anything, period.

As you can see, the neighborhood I have been staying in the last week (Kings Cross) has some very interesting characters. Don't worry, I know how to handle myself; I lived in Compton for four years.

Newsflash for the last week: I've spent too much money and earned a surprising amount of money. I discussed the global appeal of American pop culture while drinking wine with a Dane and a Frenchman. I got my first French lesson from a Belgian. I "rendered" (plastered) a house with one "builder" (construction foreman), cut gyprock (dry wall) with another, interviewed at the Amora Hotel in downtown for porter position (hey, I currently wash dishes. No position is too menial) and discovered that Australian contemporary art can be just as silly as its American equivalent. I've walked more this week than any other week in my life, including the week I walked the Revlon Run/Walk with Orly, unearthed a dormant childhood passion for trains and managed to irrevocably stain all but one of my white items of clothing. This is Vince's fault because he dropped a glass of red wine inside my suitcase. I suppose this is better than the girl next door who woke up at 6 am to find her Norwegian roomate (a guy) peeing in hers. Suitcase, that is. A song comes to mind here...

"I love you more

than I did the week before

I discovered alcohol

Would you please ignore

that you found me on the floor

Trying on your camisole?

O alcohol, would you please forgive me?

For while I cannot love myself

I'll use something else"

Have I mentioned that beer here is almost twice as expensive here, purchasing power parity taken into account? In a reaction to this sad sad fact, Vince and I have taken to buying only boxed wine and "Coles" brand "$mart buy" food products to conserve money. They are dirt cheap. I think Coles cut most of their costs by creating the simplest product packaging theme known to man..

...vibrant stuff right?

I have also discovered that frattiness exists worldwide. Here is the proof...

And finally, a whole bunch of pictures:

[10.11.2009] English Second Language Text Messaging aka "ESL SMS", Paintings and Adapt or Die

Inspired by conversation with Vince I would like to dedicate the beginning of this blog post to the string of ridiculoustext messages I have been getting from newly acquired foreign friends. So, here are a few of them, original formatting and spelling intact (ranked in order of ascending "ridiculousity"):

8) "But hey that was cool. I guess I just act like the bum I am and sleep on a bench in the park"

-Matt Pierre, Swede

7) "Hey you what are you up to today , something cool ?"

-Matt Pierre, Swede

6) "Ey man! Tomorrow its gonna be a awsome party at your hostel! Becouse a little bird told me that is your birthday! :-) see ya! / Jocke"

-Joakim, Swede

5) "Hey no worries Scott ;-)! We will come,but later than 8!Maybe around 9:30.Is it o

k?How long do you will stay at the hostel before going out tonight?"

-Kristin, German

4) Where do you gonna go tonight? Gaff, our a other club? I think we come to you now butt we dont know where your hostel is answear quickly!"

-Joakim, Swede

3) "When do you need me?"

-Matt Pierre, Swede

2) Ey gays, whats happen? I think we gonna go to "the gaff tonight! And I hope you gays come n join ous there! Before 10 pm have they 2 free drinks, free entryes and alot of swedish girls. "i think" ;-)see you about one houer! Ok!"

-Joakim, Swede

1) "of course i will take your jacket. What does it look like i love you. From yes and j"

-Joakim, Swede

Some seriously funny stuff. For example, in 2) I'm pretty sure my friend meant to write "guys" both times, which only makes it funnier. As far as I know all my friends here are straight; for starters, my swedish friends jump at opportunity to discuss their beautiful swedish wo

men. Still, if you reference 1), the aformentioned misspelling in 2) could be construed as wishful thinking...

When not being showered with Swedish bro love, I have made an effort to check out Sydney a little more. Yesterday I walked around part of the harbor, ran into an Australian Naval base, pondered waterside, and stumbled across the Art Gallery of New South Wales. Here I saw some beautiful Australian landscape paintings dating from the mid to late 19th century. My

personal favorite was "The Flood of

Darling 1890" by WC Piguenit (on right). The attention to detail requisite in this kind of painting is almost unfathomable.

Today Vince and I checked out the Sydney Museum and throughly enjoyed the "Adapt or Die" exhibit examining some of the absurd extinct creatures that once inhabited this place. Some of these things you just look at and go "Are you f****ing kidding me? That actually existed?!!".

Seriously. Some of the old mammals from this

continent put the Wooly Mammoth lineage to shame. My personal favorite was a gigantic steroidal wombat called

a Dyprotodon, classified as one of Austrlalia's Mega Fauna but which actually originated on the planet Hoth. (Gray thing to the right). Apparrently they weighed over 4000 pounds and carried their young in a sack under they're stomach. There was a cat like thing with bulging linebacker forearms and an D-line stance. (Orange thing below) And don't even get me started on the Demon Duck of Doom (actual name, on the brochures and everything, see bottom).

And of course, today is my

22nd birthday! Hello adulthood, my name is Scott. Whoa.

[10.5.2009] Cafe Job, Karaoke and the Haunted House

I have a newfound appreciation for everyone and anyone working in restaurants, café’s and bars.

Those places can be INSANE!!!! (Sorry for the weird pic formatting; I haven't quite figured out how to undo adding a picture without restarting my whole post). Lordy lordy. I'm the kitchenairre: sious chef, dishwasher and roaming free safety all in one...yup, I have to make tackles from time to time.

Two days into the café job and it looks like I’m going to keep it at 2 days a week. I’ll either pick up odd jobs as they come door lock down another job for the remaining three days a week. Scraping it together down here.

The weekend was spent in pubs and pe

rforming karaoke. Remix to Ignition and I Want it that Way by the Backstreet Boys were the duos between Vince and I and the performances vaulted us into Balmain Backpackers lore. Speaking of housing, Vince and I are

moving into a hostel in downtown Sidney this Wednesday for a week. We are exploring more permanent housing opportunities on our own but also in conjunction with a splendid group if British girls. Cheerio! The five of us actually went to see a house out on the outskirts of the city last night: Stephen King could not have created a more sinister place. Taxidermy abounded, the air was musty and the dark wood sucked the light out of even the most open rooms. I expected the Texas Chainsaw massacre guy to be hiding behind the shower curtains. Gremlins to pop our of the toilets…the exorcist chick to crawl out of the basement…ok ok, you all get the picture. We couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Other days have involved helping a pharmacy move in next door, checking out the Sydney operah house and making incredibly intelligent moves with my NFL Fantasy Football team. LMK when I go undefeated the rest of the season….with both teams…other nights included brew skis with a contingent of swede’s. Ridiculous fools, in the best sense of the phrase.

I started having some homesickness about two days ago, which is rare for me. Its been raining, and I’ve had some ugly little hangovers, both of which have probably contributed. Moving on to another hostel will likely reignite the sense of adventure that I started with on my way here.

Love to All.

Places of Note:

The Strand: The building where my cafe is located. Beautiful Victorian architecture and a huge valuted glass ceiling over primarily retail shops.

The Red Lion: Balmain Backpackers local pub. Keroake from time to time. Pool sweetness (where I lost to a British backpacker and decided to never lose at anything involving a British opponent again. Bloody hell.

Sydney Opera House: love feeling like a tourist?